Just when I think I might go the day without wallowing in his vision he says something that gives me a look into his soul and I am thinking again. If only I could herd all of the thoughts out of my head I might live a normal day with a semi normal head and a painless heart. He hurts so much, sometimes I want to slap him into reality so that he will see me for half a second. Maybe it is his pain that keeps me away from him? How can I live up to his past or any of the people in it? In that there are no possibilities! I do know that sometimes I am so scared of his past that I am scared he "couldn't" love me no matter how much he did love me. Does that make any sense?