Saturday, January 1, 2011
The beginnings of love
Some people might think I am crazy, obsessed but I live my life without him. I don't stalk him, prank call him. I live, I have a husband, children and I love them all very much but my love for my husband is different than this love. I live my life with this love fully aware that sometimes people and things are unobtainable. Sometimes your heart wants what it cannot have. I live my life knowing that the Universe connected us but the world stands in the way. Our choices in life led us both in different directions. I can't control my feelings, I can't control my heartache.
As the years go by however, my heart does ache more. My love for him grows as the hours pass and the days go by. Perhaps it is the void in me that seems to grow wider, I don't know. Maybe the idea that time is drifting away and the more it fades the further I get from ever feeling his arms around me in the real world. From ever feeling the butterflies that his kiss would surely give. The idea that it will never happen as long as I am breathing gets harder each day. This is why I have created this blog. Perhaps telling the world that I love him might somehow make it real. It is not easy to love with your eyes closed!